SXSW 2023: A Guide to Not Dying Completely Alone Review

Don’t be fooled by the title—A Guide to Not Dying Completely Alone is not a story about dying, it’s about how to live. Created and written by Kevin Yee, the episodic pilot is a compelling examination of the human condition and explores universal themes such as morality, forgiveness, and starting over, told from a much-needed queer Asian perspective.

On his fortieth birthday, Ben Wu (Yee) finds himself at a turning point in his life as a result of a panic attack that he suffers while alone (by choice, of course) at a gay bar and which causes him to pass out. When he awakens at the hospital, he’s greeted by an unfamiliar face, Rory, played brilliantly by the hilarious Brittani Nichols (Abbott Elementary, A Black Lady Sketch Show), who has come to his rescue during his time of need. The pair exchange sharply-written banter about sexuality and questionable cell phone photos, but ultimately bond over their newly discovered need for connection. As the camera pans away, Ben smiles quietly, letting audiences in on just how much this friendship means to him.

When Ben returns home, he realizes that he can no longer ignore what a mess his life has become, both figuratively and literally. That need for change is exasperated the following day at his job when he’s confronted by his egotistical coworker (Alex MacNicoll, The Society, 13 Reasons Why), who’s quick to butter up Ben before asking for yet another favor. “You do the work of two people,” the unnamed colleague proclaims. Because we’ve all encountered that guy. Similarly, Arthur (Paul Wong, Crazy Ex Girlfriend), Ben’s estranged father, receives the same sentiment as he prepares for his retirement, but not before he’s misnamed one final time. Yikes! (An all-too-familiar occurrence that hits close to home for this writer.) At least they had the decency to hand Arthur a mysterious package which we soon find out contains a copy of his son’s book, A Guide to Not Dying Completely Alone.

As the narrative continues, we find Ben and Rory celebrating a fortieth do-over with cake and a discussion about their shared experiences and fractured relationships with their respective fathers. The conversation reaches an emotional climax when Ben breaks down and talks about his upbringing and how he learned the rules were different for people like him. Despite that adversity, Ben wants to—no, he needs to change. He wants to revisit his childhood ambitions, see the world, reconnect with his family, write that book that he’s always said he would, fall in love, and ultimately not be so lonely anymore. It’s Yee’s performance that will leave audiences emotionally wrecked (in the best way possible), and acclaimed director Yen Tan masterfully lets that moment sit with viewers, driving home its impact. Because let’s face it, change is hard, but sometimes you just have to take the first step.

A Guide to Not Dying Completely Alone brings honesty and authenticity that’s rarely seen on screen by an underrepresented voice that’s desperately needed in the media landscape. Showrunner Kevin Yee’s script shines with its specificity and universal charm, celebrating the importance of human connection and second chances. One can only hope this is just the first chapter of a soon-to-be-in-development series.

★ ★ ★ ½ out of 4