Pop-Culturalist.com

Perhaps this sampling of questions that I jotted down while watching Riverdale will help give you a taste of the latest soapy teen murder mystery from The CW:

• Does Ms. Grundy do anything other than play her cello all day?
• If Veronica’s father is in jail and (presumably) all their assets are frozen (i.e. her mother is working as a waitress), how is she able to afford to have Magnolia Cupcakes flown in? Also isn’t Riverdale a neighborhood in the Bronx so what did they fly those cupcakes in, a helicopter? Also WHERE IS HER MONEY COMING FROM?
• Really? Going “undercover” at a gang-affiliated bar with your letterman jacket, Archie? Really??!

That doesn’t even get to the deliciously vampy Blossom family (who, no joke, features a mother and daughter pair that lounge around in silk nighties and heels IN FRONT OF ONE ANOTHER! Did I just grow up in the most prudish household ever? Or are these people total weirdos? Who cares? It is amazing, like watching Mariah’s World and realizing that wait I just saw Mariah in her sixth nightie and heels outfit and yes, I didn’t even bat an eye).

This is literally how Cheryl swans around her house:

Okay, backing up and rewinding for those of you who have absolutely no idea what Riverdale is. Riverdale is the new show which is based on the Archie comics (remember those? From your youth? I know it feels so long ago, don’t cry for too long before you read on). Only in this modern retelling, things are a lot darker than in the brightly colored Archie printed world where the biggest dilemma Archie ever seemed to face was which beautiful lady to take the school dance: the wholesome Betty Cooper or the sultry Veronica Lodge.

In this version, Jason Blossom, Riverdale High’s quarterback, turns up dead and soon fingers are being pointed in all directions because no one is innocent in this noir-lite series. Riverdale is a city full of secrets and long-held grudges. This show somehow manages to balance the darker, more dramatic elements, with moments of levity and normalcy. It veers from comedy to tragedy to horror (seriously SO many gratuitous close-ups of Jason’s dead face in the first few episodes) to romance (because duh how would it be a CW show if there weren’t a million romantic complications) with ease. None of the characters are perfect, not even Archie (though he is most certainly the straight man so far throughout).

What can I say? I thoroughly enjoy this show. The mystery is intriguing, the characters are wonderfully ridiculous and yet relatable, the music is great (very reminiscent of Stranger Things in the best way). At this point, it’s only 9 episodes in so there’s still time to catch up.

Photo Credits: The CW