Exclusive Interview: Pop Culturalist Chats with Sex/Life’s Stacy Rukeyser

Stacy Rukeyser has been a staple in the television industry for over nineteen years and her stories have transcended generations. The writer, producer, and showrunner has played a pivotal role in projects including One Tree Hill, Greek, The Lying Game, Twisted, and UnREAL. Those experiences have prepared her for latest project, Sex/Life.

Now available on Netflix, Sex/Life is the story of a love triangle between a woman, her husband, and her past that takes a provocative look at female identity and desire.

Pop Culturalist was lucky enough to chat with showrunner and creator Stacy Rukeyser about Sex/Life, the casting process, and why this story is long overdue.

PC: Could you introduce us to Sex/Life and the inspiration behind this series?
Stacy: Sex/Life is this nostalgia-fueled, sparkly, fever-dream version of the past—those fabulous single girl nights on the town, the best sex you’ve ever had and the impossibly sexy man you had it with—but it’s also rooted in this honest exploration of what happens to us as we grow up and allegedly become grownups and the choices we have to make along the way. It’s a look at the age-old question: can you have it all?

PC: Sex/Life was inspired by B.B. Easton’s book, 44 Chapters About 4 Men. How did you originally come across the source material?
Stacy: I was sent the book by [J.] Miles Dale, who is one of the executive producers on the show. I was excited because Miles has an incredible track record as a producer. I was excited to see what he had up his sleeve. But I also connected on a really personal level with the story of this wife and mom who’s up in the middle of the night, wondering who she is now and where that other girl went. That was exciting to get to do.

PC: You shared on social media that this project has been a dream come true. How have your previous experiences prepared you for this moment? What’s been the biggest takeaway for you as a showrunner?
Stacy: I’ve been a TV writer for a long time. I’ve been a TV writer for nineteen years. I’ve worked my way up the ranks and I’ve even run shows that were created by other people. It’s a dream come true to have a show that I’ve created myself and that comes from such a personal place that I feel so deeply in my bones. What’s nice is that I had a lot of experience and when the opportunity finally came I felt very confident in my ability to execute it, even during COVID and everything else.

PC: You’ve put together this incredible ensemble. Can you tell us a little bit about the casting process and finding your leads?
Stacy: Sarah Shahi really fought for this role. An actress of Sarah’s caliber doesn’t always audition for parts. She not only auditioned, but she didn’t like her audition, so she went back to the casting director on her own and re-recorded her audition scene several times. She connected with Billie on such a personal level and that was undeniable. She brings such a soulful, emotional quality to it. It’s so important for Billie to have that real vulnerability so that you could understand what she’s going through and go along on the ride with her.

With Mike Vogel and Adam Demos, it was really important to us that we had a fair fight. That it’s neither easy to say, “What is she doing? She should stay with her husband,” or “What is she doing? She should run to her incredibly sexy ex-boyfriend.” They both bring such intelligence and vulnerability. With Mike Vogel, it would be so easy for his character, Cooper, to be a vanilla husband who’s a little bit more square and not really satisfying her, but he really elevates the material so far beyond that. Adam, I worked with on UnREAL. I actually thought of him while I was writing the script and thought he might be right for Brad. It’s certainly deeper emotional material than what we gave him on UnREAL. I was like, “Oh, I don’t know if he’d be up for that.” He sent in his audition tape and was like, “Hell yes, I’m up for this.” So, that’s been a really exciting journey.

Margaret Odette plays Sasha. I feel like she’s such a revelation. She’s perhaps the least known of all our lead actors, but I feel like this is her “a star is born” moment. I’m excited for the world to see her.

PC: This story is long overdue. Why do you think it’s taken so long for this perspective to be reflected in mainstream media?
Stacy: Well, a woman who has desires and wants of her own is very scary to a lot of people. Maybe it’s just in this country, but there’s nothing scarier than a smart, strong woman. A woman with sexual desires is usually portrayed as the bad girl or she’s punished for her desires and there are a lot of other words that she’s labeled with that are not as nice as “bad girl” I think because it can be frightening. I mean, for thousands of years women’s sexuality has been frightening, but that’s how powerful it is. That’s the reason that it should be honored, nurtured, and tended to—because it’s such a big part of who we are.

To keep up with Stacy, follow her on Twitter and Instagram. Binge-watch Season 1 of Sex/Life on Netflix on June 25th.